How often do we dream of sex ?

Studies reveal significant differences in how men and women dream about sex . However, when all is said and done, almost everyone at some stage in there life has one. Sex during dreaming is reported as a topic of at least 12% of male dreams and 4% of female dreams. This discrepancy is generally consistent with our waking sex drives, with men doing much more thinking about the topic than women. (It is said that men think about sex far more than 12% of their waking lives, though.) In his book Finding the Meaning in Dreams, G. William Dumhoff reveals some interesting data -

Gender	Men	Women
Participating	93%	68%
Watching	7%	32%

This table indicates that women often separate themselves from what is going on in the dream sexually, whereas men see themselves as participants. This can be significant to understanding why it is more common for men-particularly boys-to have orgasms in the dream state than it is for women. It also reveals the conflict that many women feel about the good-girl/bad-girl taboo.

Dream images that relate to sex

The question of images and symbols relating to sex in a dream is important. Sexuality is often cloaked in a heavy shroud of secrecy, either through childhood or throughout life. Freud did for sexual content in dreams what Henry Ford did for internal combustion. Suddenly everyone, everywhere had dreams of sex. The following is a partial list of the phallic symbols you may find indexed in a Freudian dream interpretation book:

Aerosol	Antenna	Balloons	Bats
Birds	Boilers	Bottles	Can Openers
Cannons	Cigars	Cars	Chalk
Cucumbers	Drills	French Bread	Golf Clubs
Guns	Hammers	Knives	Neckties
Pencils	Rockets	Screwdrivers	Snakes
Telescopes	Umbrellas	Wrenches	Zippers

Not to be left out, women's sexuality was likewise a source of attention and interest for Freud. The following list is far less extensive than the list for male phallic symbols, but almost as diverse:

Bowls	Children	Churches	Earth
Fruit	Flowers	Gardens	Houses
Moon	Oceans	Ponds	Suitcases
Tunnels	Urns	Vases	Water

Certain sex dreams are simply romantic. Boy and girl meet in the dream and find themselves enjoying one another. This scenario commonly involves an attractive dream partner and a generally pleasing environment.

There is no violation of taboo, except for a sense that perhaps things are moving a little fast in the nocturnal relationship. Often, the dreamer has simply acted upon a desire for a relationship with a particular person. Freud's theory of wish-fulfillment is a sufficient explanation. Dreams are a rich source of fantasy and can be a way to deal with unfulfilled desires from waking life. Also as dreams are messages from the unconscious mind they can reveal our deep feelings and our true motivations. In particular they can bring to light many repressed sexual desires, our guilty feelings or our unexpressed fears about sex.

If a person has a high degree of repression, the person's fears and anxieties may be expressed through their dreams. Similarly the person's desire for greater fulfillment may be expressed in erotic dreams. If the sexual repression is severe, the dreams may be filled with sexual situations that the person would find shocking, embarrassing, or confusing. In such cases, there is often a big difference between the person's waking sexuality and the sexuality displayed in dreams. The person's day-to-day life may be emotionally sterile and sensually barren, but the dream life is full of eroticism and steamy sexual encounters. By paying attention to your dreams you can learn about your needs and desires and perhaps discover ways to make your life more sensual if necessary.